I got to watch the news last night. They were talking about... the cruise ship! "Oh, the food was so bad and disgusting!" the kids say. Do tell. "A sandwich with just jelly and butter. A sandwich with just cheese!" That's disgusting? I brought that sort of thing to school with me for lunch as a kid! "Oh, the bathroom smelled!"

Look, I'm sure it wasn't very pleasant, and I feel for them, but nobody died, nobody seems to have been in any medical danger (if anybody was, we haven't heard about it), nobody starved or went particularly hungry (excepting those who were on a diet, of course), and it only lasted three days.

Why are we even still talking about it? WHY IS IT STILL ON THE NEWS?

I hate to use this line, but isn't there anything more important we can discuss?